This song appears on eleven albums. In light of all the displeasure that is being experienced in the lives of so many, these lyrics reflect a source of honesty and simplicity in which we can find reassurance.
So you speak to me of sadness
And the coming of the winter
Fear that is within you now
It seems to never end
And the dreams that have escaped you
And the hope that you’ve forgotten
You tell me that you need me now
You want to be my friend
And you wonder where were going
Where’s the rhyme and where’s the reason
And its you cannot accept
It is here we must begin
To seek the wisdom of the children
And the graceful way of flowers in the wind
For the children and the flowers
Are my sisters and my brothers
Their laughter and their loveliness
Could clear a cloudy day
Like the music of the mountains
And the colors of the rainbow
They’re a promise of the future
And a blessing for today
Though the cities start to crumble
And the towers fall around us
The sun is slowly fading
And it’s colder than the sea
It is written from the desert
To the mountains they shall lead us
By the hand and by the heart
They will comfort you and meIn their innocence and trusting
They will teach us to be free
For the children and the flowers
Are my sisters and my brothers
Their laughter and their loveliness
Could clear a cloudy day
And the song that I am singing
Is a prayer to non-believers
Come and stand beside us
We can find a better way
~Words and music by John Denver
In these tough times where so few tower over the many who are fearful for the fate of their livelihood. In these times where we look at the real question: How did we allow this to happen? At this time where so many are at the brink of hopelessness, having had to surrender a house, and face gouging credit card debt; at a time where medical attention is getting increasingly scare for the majority, and the ability to provide food for a family is an increasing concern; at a time where political figures make doubtful promises.
Now, at this time listen carefully to the words of this song (Rhymes and Reasons). It will take you to a place of inner simplicity. It will return you to a place that is not of this world. It will return you to a Self that can readily utter what really matters in our lives. It will draw you to place within where your heart and mind are filled with the presence of God. When you arrive at that place listen to what God has to say to you. DON ¤¤
Friday, May 29, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Faithful Attentiveness
How do I reconnect with my true nature? How do I become One with the God within? How do I adjoin with True Self? How do I discover the meaning of my life? Allow one or more of these questions to linger in your mind as you read what follows.
Native to Asia is the Chinese bamboo tree. Compared to most other trees the Chinese bamboo grows in a particularly unusual fashion. It does not emerge from the ground until four years after the seed is planted. Then in the fifth year, at a truly amazing rate of growth, the little shoot pierces the soil and rockets to an amazing height. In a matter of five or six weeks it can grow to a height of 90 or more feet. Some Asians say that an observer can literally watch the Chinese bamboo tree grow right before their eyes.
Being faithful to our True Nature is not unlike the development and growth of the Chinese bamboo tree. You may wait for what is seemingly an indefinite time period to realize the truth about who you are. You may be waiting for the light to draw you to the point of realization, where you can fill your awareness with real love and happiness.
Faith is key, and faith invariably requires waiting with both assurance and patience.
The Chinese bamboo tree does not remain dormant for four years. Rather the reason that growth from the ground up is not observed is because the tree uses four years to develop a vast supportive root system below the ground. Tree growers are however endlessly faithful to what will one day occur. They realize that the tree, in order to grow tall and fast, must first spread its roots deep and wide. For if the tree was to first grow above the ground without developing a hardy root system, little more than a slight wind would bring it down.
If you want to experience a state of consciousness that provides abundant love and happiness, then like the Chinese bamboo you must remain faithful to what you know will one day transpire. You must remain attentive to your intention, and be faithful to the outcome. Whether it is a matter of uncovering the God within, or discovering the meaning of your life, the universe once hearing your request, will begin to produce the required root system.
The bamboo growers are very attentive to the development of the tree. Without expecting to see any visible signs of growth they continue to nurture the fledgling trees with water and fertilizer. And although there are no apparent signs of life, growers realize that the tree is doing what it needs to do below the soil so the above ground plant will
one day grow and flourish. And when the tree finally burst through the soil it does so at an accelerated rate.
The universe intervenes with our loving intentions in much the same way. If we keep our minds focused on the outcome and remain faithful to God’s powers, then at one point when all necessary elements are in perfect balance and harmony, the way to our intentions will open up at an accelerated rate. The appropriate friends, acquaintances and teachers will appear. Also the right situations will develop. These may seem as if they are chance occurrences or coincidences, but they are not. The guiding wisdom of universal love is doing what it knows how to do. It is drawing us to what we are intended to receive.
Be thoughtful about what you request. The energy created by Divine Love is of a higher frequency than conventional ego transmitted energy. Ego energy tries to attract to itself that which it believes that it is lacking. In the realm of Divine Consciousness we are one with the mind of God. We are unified with the Mind that lacks nothing. So when making a request of that mind you are asking for your intention to be fulfilled as it relates to a divine orientation. I am not speaking of request that are specifically centered around ideas like earning a larger paycheck of getting a good deal on a car that you want. I’m speaking of requests that are beyond the dimension of getting things and people to match up to our desires. If you are experiencing financial or transportation issues then ask God to guide you through love to bring you the solution.
Ask that you experience love in a specific facet of your life. For example if you are experiencing job related concerns and would like for the wisdom of God to prevail. Then make that specific request. Keep it in the forefront of your mind. But, don’t meddle. Allow God to do His work. He will send you messages and messengers. Have faith. Be attentive to your intention by meditating. Quiet the concerns and problems that arise in your mind. Let go of all ego-based remedies for solving your problems. Be patient. The tree will sprout. You will be given a direction and your concerns will be handled.
If you are looking for the meaning of your life then ask the question: What is the meaning of my life? After, ask God to allow you to see the answer through love. Once you have asked, be assured that a messenger will deliver the response. You will hear the answer. But before that answer arrives make sure you tend to the tree. Hold loving thoughts in your mind. Avoid doubtfulness or making judgmental perceptions of yourself and others. Nurture your question with love, kindness, peacefulness and compassion. One day a sprout of knowledge will appear and from that sprout you will see new growth. Your True Nature will be revealed and you will be on your way to discovering the meaning of your life. And in that knowledge the
understanding of your Authentic Self will be revealed to you. Don¤¤
Native to Asia is the Chinese bamboo tree. Compared to most other trees the Chinese bamboo grows in a particularly unusual fashion. It does not emerge from the ground until four years after the seed is planted. Then in the fifth year, at a truly amazing rate of growth, the little shoot pierces the soil and rockets to an amazing height. In a matter of five or six weeks it can grow to a height of 90 or more feet. Some Asians say that an observer can literally watch the Chinese bamboo tree grow right before their eyes.
Being faithful to our True Nature is not unlike the development and growth of the Chinese bamboo tree. You may wait for what is seemingly an indefinite time period to realize the truth about who you are. You may be waiting for the light to draw you to the point of realization, where you can fill your awareness with real love and happiness.
Faith is key, and faith invariably requires waiting with both assurance and patience.
The Chinese bamboo tree does not remain dormant for four years. Rather the reason that growth from the ground up is not observed is because the tree uses four years to develop a vast supportive root system below the ground. Tree growers are however endlessly faithful to what will one day occur. They realize that the tree, in order to grow tall and fast, must first spread its roots deep and wide. For if the tree was to first grow above the ground without developing a hardy root system, little more than a slight wind would bring it down.
If you want to experience a state of consciousness that provides abundant love and happiness, then like the Chinese bamboo you must remain faithful to what you know will one day transpire. You must remain attentive to your intention, and be faithful to the outcome. Whether it is a matter of uncovering the God within, or discovering the meaning of your life, the universe once hearing your request, will begin to produce the required root system.
The bamboo growers are very attentive to the development of the tree. Without expecting to see any visible signs of growth they continue to nurture the fledgling trees with water and fertilizer. And although there are no apparent signs of life, growers realize that the tree is doing what it needs to do below the soil so the above ground plant will
one day grow and flourish. And when the tree finally burst through the soil it does so at an accelerated rate.
The universe intervenes with our loving intentions in much the same way. If we keep our minds focused on the outcome and remain faithful to God’s powers, then at one point when all necessary elements are in perfect balance and harmony, the way to our intentions will open up at an accelerated rate. The appropriate friends, acquaintances and teachers will appear. Also the right situations will develop. These may seem as if they are chance occurrences or coincidences, but they are not. The guiding wisdom of universal love is doing what it knows how to do. It is drawing us to what we are intended to receive.
Be thoughtful about what you request. The energy created by Divine Love is of a higher frequency than conventional ego transmitted energy. Ego energy tries to attract to itself that which it believes that it is lacking. In the realm of Divine Consciousness we are one with the mind of God. We are unified with the Mind that lacks nothing. So when making a request of that mind you are asking for your intention to be fulfilled as it relates to a divine orientation. I am not speaking of request that are specifically centered around ideas like earning a larger paycheck of getting a good deal on a car that you want. I’m speaking of requests that are beyond the dimension of getting things and people to match up to our desires. If you are experiencing financial or transportation issues then ask God to guide you through love to bring you the solution.
Ask that you experience love in a specific facet of your life. For example if you are experiencing job related concerns and would like for the wisdom of God to prevail. Then make that specific request. Keep it in the forefront of your mind. But, don’t meddle. Allow God to do His work. He will send you messages and messengers. Have faith. Be attentive to your intention by meditating. Quiet the concerns and problems that arise in your mind. Let go of all ego-based remedies for solving your problems. Be patient. The tree will sprout. You will be given a direction and your concerns will be handled.
If you are looking for the meaning of your life then ask the question: What is the meaning of my life? After, ask God to allow you to see the answer through love. Once you have asked, be assured that a messenger will deliver the response. You will hear the answer. But before that answer arrives make sure you tend to the tree. Hold loving thoughts in your mind. Avoid doubtfulness or making judgmental perceptions of yourself and others. Nurture your question with love, kindness, peacefulness and compassion. One day a sprout of knowledge will appear and from that sprout you will see new growth. Your True Nature will be revealed and you will be on your way to discovering the meaning of your life. And in that knowledge the
understanding of your Authentic Self will be revealed to you. Don¤¤
Friday, May 15, 2009
The bridge of Meditation
When I begin meditation, I frequently place an image in my mind that creates a sense of peacefulness. The brilliant pink lotus flower is an excellent representation of peace. To me it is a symbol of calmness and helps create a sense of inner-stillness. The effortlessly floating lotus is a metaphor for the practice of meditation. It rests quietly, full of its own beauty, wanting nothing, thinking of nothing, judging nothing.
GETTING FROM HERE TO THERE
A bridge allows easier accessibility to two landings that are otherwise separated by a chasm. In my life I am often aware of the consciousness that is represented by love, and compassion. Often I am reminded by the Holy Voice to remain non-judgmental and see only Love. The frequent reminders makes it none-the-less difficult to, at times, cross over, and just relinquish one form of consciousness for the other. The cross over can be resisted by old thought patterns. It seems like when I’m in a certain frame of cognition I just cannot bring myself to a place in the mind where I want to make the effort to be peaceful, calm and accepting. Rather I want to clutch the anger and judgment. In my mind, I see the other side. I realize the benefits that I will enjoy by crossing over from one reality to the other. But! But I hesitate. And then I ask myself: Why am I reluctant?
The answer I believe is centered in the concept of control. To walk the bridge from one state of reality to the other would mean relinquishing control. On one side of the bridge is the domain that I have controlled for many years. When I set foot to the bridge I realize that I am moving toward another domain, one in which I must surrender both my offensive and defensive weapons. This is a place in which weapons of the psyche have no use. This is Divine turf, a place where I am asked to surrender my ego-based thoughts and instead extend love and offer forgiveness.
Maybe at some point you also experience difficulty in bringing yourself to inner peace and joy. Maybe you, like me, realize that there is a peaceful place that waits, but you are resisting the walk over the bridge. Maybe you want to hold onto those toxic thoughts for a while.
Here are some things I do to help myself. I first place in the center of my mind an image that brings me to a happy state of mind. Then I move my mind to an image that represents calmness. As these images are interrupted by thoughts that encourage me to turn back, I visualize letting those taunting thoughts go.
Like a balloon filled with helium drifts high into the sky, I too encourage these hindering thoughts to drift off. I see myself taking one step at a time, crossing the bridge ever so slowly. As my mind begins to settle down, I focus on my breath, taking notice as each breath arises and falls.
Again ego-based thoughts will try to creep in and disturb this meditative practice. When they do, I mentally perceive myself letting the thought go. Over time, the anxiousness subsides and divine consciousness prevails. Again I become calm, relaxed and one with love. God fills my heart.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Receiving the Light & Treasures of the Light
You were brought forth by the Light. This Light induced life into the tiny aqueous embryonic physical form. From the unity of Light and that host form a being was created. You were created.
At some point in our early lives many of us loose our memory of the Light. Rather our awareness is diverted and we are restricted by a reality that wants us to respond to its ever-persistent demands and expectations. In simple terms, we forego the wisdom of God, the Light, for satisfaction of self-serving desires.
Wondering in the dark causes loneliness and a sense that something is missing. And so, many come to a point in their lives where they eventually search for truth and in doing so acknowledge the Light, and recognize its divine power. When initially entering this new awareness, folks begin to see into the flawed conventional reality of self. They begin to view this reality from an objective point of view, much as if who they are is playing on a theatre screen, and they are the detached viewer.
In entering this transitional point many folks claim to see the self from a distant and removed vantage point. They realize that a powerful attraction, something beyond conventional reality is drawing them toward it. Something of a divine transpersonal nature is pulling them away from their pursuits of self-indulging wants and cravings.
Worldly desires become more and more meaningless during this transitional period.
Followers of the Light realize that the magnetic force of divine wisdom is redirecting their awareness and that they are part of Something that is Ultimate and Wise.
Once this recognition is acknowledged then what is to be done next? How does one immerse one’s self in this new reality? How do those who have entered this brink, evolve into the Divine Self and share in Divine Consciousness. The answer is: we must first be clear about our intention, then remain faithful and attentive to that intention.
I’m not speaking of intentions that are based on firstly satisfying self-gratifying expectations, wants and desire. I’m not referring to intentions that are pinpointed to getting a new Bentley or affording a wardrobe overhaul.
Intentions that emanate directly from self-serving worldly cravings are rooted in the idea that we lack something and will thusly be happy once we get whatever we believe is missing.
Those desires are seeded and propagated in a reality that restricts both self-awareness and our spiritual transformation. I am speaking of intentions that call forth love, happiness, and the fullness of life. These intentions will bring forth into our lives everything that is required to nurture, develop and support their wellbeing.
In asking that God guide you and ingratiate you with fullness, willingly release your worldly appetites. Ask that God take control of your daily comings and goings. Ask that you experience Love, and it is love that you shall receive. Ask that you be happy and you will be given the where-with-all and guidance to be a happy being. Ask that you experience a life of fullness and you will enjoy the abundant flow of love and happiness that comes your way. “Ask and you shall receive.” Ask, then allow God to do His thing. Get out of the way. Ask to receive the Light and you shall be the Light of the world. Don¤¤
Treasures of the Light
Last Sunday at The Center for Happy Beings, the theme of our talk was fear. We spoke of how we involve fear in our everyday lives, and also how fear can take control our behavior and the direction of our lives. We looked at how to transcend our fears, and get beyond the hurt that fear has caused us. Then we participated in a guided meditation where we silently and individually returned to a critically fearful place in our past, and allowed the fearful emotions to dissipate and then diminish. It was a great day for the Light. Each Sunday morning is an adventure in finding new treasures of the Light. db¤
Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis - Martha Beck
From within or from behind, a light shines through us upon things, and makes us aware that we are nothing, but the light is all. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
An age is called "dark," not because the light fails to shine but because people refuse to see it. ~James Michener
Even a thought, even a possibility, can shatter and transform us.- Nietzsche
¤¤¤
Enjoy a wonderful and happy month of May – remember you are the
Light. db¤
Discover the Love Within.
Take the Pathway to Self-Transformation. Your butterfly is awaiting!
What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself. -Abraham Maslow
It is difficult to see the picture when you are inside of the frame. -Author Unknown
It is a paradox of life that some of the best people we ever meet are those who have suffered a great deal. Their lives are like still waters that run very deep. There's a quality of inner goodness that has been wrought through all the pain.- James Jones
At some point in our early lives many of us loose our memory of the Light. Rather our awareness is diverted and we are restricted by a reality that wants us to respond to its ever-persistent demands and expectations. In simple terms, we forego the wisdom of God, the Light, for satisfaction of self-serving desires.
Wondering in the dark causes loneliness and a sense that something is missing. And so, many come to a point in their lives where they eventually search for truth and in doing so acknowledge the Light, and recognize its divine power. When initially entering this new awareness, folks begin to see into the flawed conventional reality of self. They begin to view this reality from an objective point of view, much as if who they are is playing on a theatre screen, and they are the detached viewer.
In entering this transitional point many folks claim to see the self from a distant and removed vantage point. They realize that a powerful attraction, something beyond conventional reality is drawing them toward it. Something of a divine transpersonal nature is pulling them away from their pursuits of self-indulging wants and cravings.
Worldly desires become more and more meaningless during this transitional period.
Followers of the Light realize that the magnetic force of divine wisdom is redirecting their awareness and that they are part of Something that is Ultimate and Wise.
Once this recognition is acknowledged then what is to be done next? How does one immerse one’s self in this new reality? How do those who have entered this brink, evolve into the Divine Self and share in Divine Consciousness. The answer is: we must first be clear about our intention, then remain faithful and attentive to that intention.
I’m not speaking of intentions that are based on firstly satisfying self-gratifying expectations, wants and desire. I’m not referring to intentions that are pinpointed to getting a new Bentley or affording a wardrobe overhaul.
Intentions that emanate directly from self-serving worldly cravings are rooted in the idea that we lack something and will thusly be happy once we get whatever we believe is missing.
Those desires are seeded and propagated in a reality that restricts both self-awareness and our spiritual transformation. I am speaking of intentions that call forth love, happiness, and the fullness of life. These intentions will bring forth into our lives everything that is required to nurture, develop and support their wellbeing.
In asking that God guide you and ingratiate you with fullness, willingly release your worldly appetites. Ask that God take control of your daily comings and goings. Ask that you experience Love, and it is love that you shall receive. Ask that you be happy and you will be given the where-with-all and guidance to be a happy being. Ask that you experience a life of fullness and you will enjoy the abundant flow of love and happiness that comes your way. “Ask and you shall receive.” Ask, then allow God to do His thing. Get out of the way. Ask to receive the Light and you shall be the Light of the world. Don¤¤
Treasures of the Light
Last Sunday at The Center for Happy Beings, the theme of our talk was fear. We spoke of how we involve fear in our everyday lives, and also how fear can take control our behavior and the direction of our lives. We looked at how to transcend our fears, and get beyond the hurt that fear has caused us. Then we participated in a guided meditation where we silently and individually returned to a critically fearful place in our past, and allowed the fearful emotions to dissipate and then diminish. It was a great day for the Light. Each Sunday morning is an adventure in finding new treasures of the Light. db¤
Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis - Martha Beck
From within or from behind, a light shines through us upon things, and makes us aware that we are nothing, but the light is all. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
An age is called "dark," not because the light fails to shine but because people refuse to see it. ~James Michener
Even a thought, even a possibility, can shatter and transform us.- Nietzsche
¤¤¤
Enjoy a wonderful and happy month of May – remember you are the
Light. db¤
Discover the Love Within.
Take the Pathway to Self-Transformation. Your butterfly is awaiting!
What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself. -Abraham Maslow
It is difficult to see the picture when you are inside of the frame. -Author Unknown
It is a paradox of life that some of the best people we ever meet are those who have suffered a great deal. Their lives are like still waters that run very deep. There's a quality of inner goodness that has been wrought through all the pain.- James Jones
Thursday, April 30, 2009
The Imaginal Cell Story & Self-Transformation
The caterpillar’s new cells are called ‘imaginal cells.’
They are so totally different from the caterpillar cells
that his immune system thinks they are enemies… and gobbles them up.
But these new imaginal cells continue to appear. More and more of them! Pretty soon, the caterpillar’s immune system cannot destroy them fast enough. More and more of the imaginal cells survive. And then an amazing thing happens!
The little tiny lonely imaginal cells start to clump together into friendly little groups. They all resonate together at the same frequency, passing information from one to another. Then, after awhile, another amazing thing happens!
The clumps of imaginal cells start to cluster together! A long string of clumping and clustering imaginal cells, all resonating at the same frequency, all passing information from one to another there inside the chrysalis.
Then at some point, the entire long string of imaginal cells suddenly realizes all together that it is something different from the caterpillar. Something new! Something wonderful! …and in that realization is the shout of the birth of the butterfly!
Since the butterfly now “knows” that it is a butterfly, the little tiny imaginal cells no longer have to do all those things individual cells must do. Now they are part of a multi-celled organism— A FAMILY who can share the work.
Each new butterfly cell can take on a different job— There is something for everyone to do. And everyone is important. And each cell begins to do just that very thing it is most drawn to do. And every other cell encourages it to do just that. A great way to organize a butterfly!”
Adapted Version of Nori Huddle’s story from her book, Butterfly Source – theinfinitegames.org
SELF-TRANSFORMATION
The morph of the caterpillar into a butterfly is an incredible metaphor for what it takes to make changes in the way we live our lives. If you read the previous essay, then you know that the butterfly would not develop if it were not for the initial clustering of imaginal cells. The purpose of these cells along with their inherent determination make it possible for a miraculous natural change to be completed.
Many of us want to make a life change, but fall short of our aspirations. We enter the state of change (cocoon stage) with the desire to transform a way of thinking or behaving, but find that in the face of temptation and old ways, our will concedes. It instead gives way to long-standing habits, and sooner or later we return to our previous patterns of thinking or behaving.Change-making thoughts are vulnerable to being gobbled up by traditional thoughts. These old ego-based thoughts are vast in scope and deeply rooted so new thoughts must remain persistent in attracting nourishment
Initially, in the cocoon, imaginal cells are overtaken by traditional cells. In order to have a chance at survival, the imaginal cells organize in a cluster, and in their unity are able to stave off most attempts at destroying them.
When I hear the story of transformation from caterpillar to butterfly, I repeatedly reflect on my state of mind. I think about the reality through which I see the world, and that I am continually choosing weather I am a caterpillar or butterfly. I reflect on my thoughts and the reality I select in protecting and projecting those thoughts. I ask myself: Am I projecting love or distain; kindness or condemnation? I can roam around seeing things and people in a conventional fashion. I can rely on ego-based thoughts to guide me into mulling over more ego-based thoughts; or I can cluster with thoughts of kindness and love.
In doing the later, I breath a new life into my spirit and see the world though a reality that is beyond distaining and disapproving thoughts. As I experience loving thoughts I realize that these thoughts are meant to grow, cluster and morph. I inherently realize that these thoughts will carry me to a place of peacefulness, easiness and wholeness. These thoughts are the spiritual equivalent of imaginal cells. They will be attacked by conventional thoughts, but as they cluster, they will multiply and differentiate to the point of raising my minds awareness to a new consciousness, a spiritual reality. This is realm in which the mind refocuses its theme. It focuses on not the worldly, but the spiritual. It experiences the conventional world through a spiritually healed awareness.
The transformation of the mind, like the metamorphosis of the caterpillar, does not evolve without challenges. But if we are willing to stick with the initiative, making the shift in consciousness will allow us the experience of many benefits. Where love was stifled and hopeless, we will realize we possess something incredibly magnanimous. Loving thoughts cluster together one thought at a time. Love grows and strengthens within the self by uniting with, not only other like thoughts, but also with other people who also are traveling the same pathway. The cluster is fortified and enriched by sharing and communicating thoughts that nurture the empowering change from a conventional caterpillar to a magnificent butterfly.
Remember however, before the caterpillar could change he had to first follow the will to do so. The caterpillar heard the voice of natural intention saying you are to be what God has intended for you. And so the butterfly is created from the caterpillar’s willingness to wrap itself in a cocoon and accept its becoming. It accepts the transformation into a new being, one that deep inside, the caterpillar knew it was intended to become. What about you? What about your butterfly? How is your becoming coming? Don ¤¤¤
¤¤¤BE HAPPY¤¤¤
But these new imaginal cells continue to appear. More and more of them! Pretty soon, the caterpillar’s immune system cannot destroy them fast enough. More and more of the imaginal cells survive. And then an amazing thing happens!
The little tiny lonely imaginal cells start to clump together into friendly little groups. They all resonate together at the same frequency, passing information from one to another. Then, after awhile, another amazing thing happens!
The clumps of imaginal cells start to cluster together! A long string of clumping and clustering imaginal cells, all resonating at the same frequency, all passing information from one to another there inside the chrysalis.
Then at some point, the entire long string of imaginal cells suddenly realizes all together that it is something different from the caterpillar. Something new! Something wonderful! …and in that realization is the shout of the birth of the butterfly!
Since the butterfly now “knows” that it is a butterfly, the little tiny imaginal cells no longer have to do all those things individual cells must do. Now they are part of a multi-celled organism— A FAMILY who can share the work.
Each new butterfly cell can take on a different job— There is something for everyone to do. And everyone is important. And each cell begins to do just that very thing it is most drawn to do. And every other cell encourages it to do just that. A great way to organize a butterfly!”
Adapted Version of Nori Huddle’s story from her book, Butterfly Source – theinfinitegames.org
SELF-TRANSFORMATION
The morph of the caterpillar into a butterfly is an incredible metaphor for what it takes to make changes in the way we live our lives. If you read the previous essay, then you know that the butterfly would not develop if it were not for the initial clustering of imaginal cells. The purpose of these cells along with their inherent determination make it possible for a miraculous natural change to be completed.
Many of us want to make a life change, but fall short of our aspirations. We enter the state of change (cocoon stage) with the desire to transform a way of thinking or behaving, but find that in the face of temptation and old ways, our will concedes. It instead gives way to long-standing habits, and sooner or later we return to our previous patterns of thinking or behaving.Change-making thoughts are vulnerable to being gobbled up by traditional thoughts. These old ego-based thoughts are vast in scope and deeply rooted so new thoughts must remain persistent in attracting nourishment
Initially, in the cocoon, imaginal cells are overtaken by traditional cells. In order to have a chance at survival, the imaginal cells organize in a cluster, and in their unity are able to stave off most attempts at destroying them.
When I hear the story of transformation from caterpillar to butterfly, I repeatedly reflect on my state of mind. I think about the reality through which I see the world, and that I am continually choosing weather I am a caterpillar or butterfly. I reflect on my thoughts and the reality I select in protecting and projecting those thoughts. I ask myself: Am I projecting love or distain; kindness or condemnation? I can roam around seeing things and people in a conventional fashion. I can rely on ego-based thoughts to guide me into mulling over more ego-based thoughts; or I can cluster with thoughts of kindness and love.
In doing the later, I breath a new life into my spirit and see the world though a reality that is beyond distaining and disapproving thoughts. As I experience loving thoughts I realize that these thoughts are meant to grow, cluster and morph. I inherently realize that these thoughts will carry me to a place of peacefulness, easiness and wholeness. These thoughts are the spiritual equivalent of imaginal cells. They will be attacked by conventional thoughts, but as they cluster, they will multiply and differentiate to the point of raising my minds awareness to a new consciousness, a spiritual reality. This is realm in which the mind refocuses its theme. It focuses on not the worldly, but the spiritual. It experiences the conventional world through a spiritually healed awareness.
The transformation of the mind, like the metamorphosis of the caterpillar, does not evolve without challenges. But if we are willing to stick with the initiative, making the shift in consciousness will allow us the experience of many benefits. Where love was stifled and hopeless, we will realize we possess something incredibly magnanimous. Loving thoughts cluster together one thought at a time. Love grows and strengthens within the self by uniting with, not only other like thoughts, but also with other people who also are traveling the same pathway. The cluster is fortified and enriched by sharing and communicating thoughts that nurture the empowering change from a conventional caterpillar to a magnificent butterfly.
Remember however, before the caterpillar could change he had to first follow the will to do so. The caterpillar heard the voice of natural intention saying you are to be what God has intended for you. And so the butterfly is created from the caterpillar’s willingness to wrap itself in a cocoon and accept its becoming. It accepts the transformation into a new being, one that deep inside, the caterpillar knew it was intended to become. What about you? What about your butterfly? How is your becoming coming? Don ¤¤¤
¤¤¤BE HAPPY¤¤¤
Thursday, April 23, 2009
What is wrong with being kind?- A love letter from Don
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
-
~ Author, Leo Buscaglia
Something Wrong With Being Kind?
What is wrong with being kind? On the surface it may seem like a dumb questions. Most of us would immediately reply with the one word answer: “nothing;” meaning there is nothing wrong with being kind. Actually the question may on the surface seem stupid or ridiculous. You may think kindness is always a right thing, not wrong thing.
But is that how we really see it? What about if we ask ourselves that same question just after thinking of someone who has done us wrong, or hurt us in some way. Would be then offer a caveat to the answer, and instead say: kindness is right except in this particular case. Would we then frame the concept of kindness in a conditional mindset, meaning it would not apply with respect to this specific person.
What about being kind to a person you can’t stand? Is that a different story? Is it wrong to be kind to that person? Do we make some exceptions with regard to whom we will extend acts of kindness? Do we not sometimes attach a string to our kindness? When we are kind to some people, are we not expectant of something in return? If someone is really irksome, can you offer kindness to that person without expecting reciprocity? At minimum you might expect this person to at least acknowledge your kindness with some minimal response. You may think that he or she should offer in return, a sincere thank you.
An act of kindness that is extended with the right intention is a real expression of love. Kindness expressed in this way is connected to no expectations. No strings are attached. Simply we give without wanting anything back. We do not look for the receiver to offer anything in return. A kind thought or gesture is offered without any wish to benefit.
If you have difficulty offering kindness to a particular person or group, here are a few thoughts that I put together to help you.
Remember that this person or group is doing the best they can. They are not deliberately making your life difficult, rather they are just trying to bring love and happiness into their own life. Sometimes, unfortunate the only way we can feel good about who we are is to put blame on someone else. It’s not right, but never the less this type of behavior is not unusual.
Give yourself a long runway. Don’t expect to immediately experience some idea or feeling that just nullifies your automatic response to the thought of another person. You may think of a person and believe that he or she does not deserve kindness. Kindness is an expression of love and everyone deserves to be loved. An airplane requires a runway in order to get off the ground and into the air. You may have issues that are of such magnitude that you just cannot extend kindness to a particular person. Being of that mind frame is not unusual. So instead of overtly offering kindness, do so in thought. Think to yourself: I offer you kindness. Put the image of the person in your mind and say again and again: I give you kindness. Before the kindness concept may be able to fly, you may have to devote some mental effort to getting up to speed. But without the effort made privately, in your mind, the idea is doomed to being grounded.
Spend some time doing the ground work. Before flying, pilots learn fundamental skills and practices from books, in class, and in a simulator. Before taking to the sky they become familiar with the workings of the airplane, and air currents. You can do the same in regards to kindness. Before actually extending an act of kindness to the person with whom you would find difficult doing so, practice first with someone of less difficulty. Offer kindness to people of neutral influence, those with whom you have no history. And do the same with friends and family members with whom you are congenial terms.
Practice safe piloting. When the “difficult” person is in your midst, and the time is right, and after much private practice, extend a small act of kindness. Like a fledgling pilot, take it easy. Don’t make alarming moves or put yourself in a desperate situation. Offer kindness but don’t try to overextend yourself. Don’t force yourself to do something that is beyond your capability. Develop your skills slowly and certainly. After a small act of kindness, make a retreat. There will be another time and another situation in which you can extend yet another similar gesture.
Avoid second-guessing. During this entire process from its inception onward, you may think or act in a way that will make you feel guilty because of your historical unwillingness to be kind. Or you may want to relapse, and fall back to again condemning the person that you are experiencing difficulties with. Avoid thoughts that cast a shadow on your intention to be kind. Think only of kindness. Think only kind thoughts. If you do fall from the horse get right back in the saddle. Your ultimate success is inevitable. Take time, expend the energy, and focus your effort.
Apply the golden rule. Offer the same consideration to others that you like to receive. You are the key. Kindness begins with you. Open your mind to kind thoughts, and then act in a kindly manner. Remain optimistic. You will backslide. When you do, simply change your mind. Catch yourself as you think ill thoughts of another, and replace these wrong-minded thoughts with loving thoughts. The rest will unfold on its own. Know this: God is the love in you, and the love in you cannot be defeated.
- Don ¤¤¤
“If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.” – Bob Hope
“If you meditate, sooner or later you will come upon love. If you meditate deeply, sooner or later you will start feeling a tremendous love arising in you that you have never known before.” - Osho
¤¤¤BE HAPPY!!!!¤¤¤
~ Author, Leo Buscaglia
Something Wrong With Being Kind?
What is wrong with being kind? On the surface it may seem like a dumb questions. Most of us would immediately reply with the one word answer: “nothing;” meaning there is nothing wrong with being kind. Actually the question may on the surface seem stupid or ridiculous. You may think kindness is always a right thing, not wrong thing.
But is that how we really see it? What about if we ask ourselves that same question just after thinking of someone who has done us wrong, or hurt us in some way. Would be then offer a caveat to the answer, and instead say: kindness is right except in this particular case. Would we then frame the concept of kindness in a conditional mindset, meaning it would not apply with respect to this specific person.
What about being kind to a person you can’t stand? Is that a different story? Is it wrong to be kind to that person? Do we make some exceptions with regard to whom we will extend acts of kindness? Do we not sometimes attach a string to our kindness? When we are kind to some people, are we not expectant of something in return? If someone is really irksome, can you offer kindness to that person without expecting reciprocity? At minimum you might expect this person to at least acknowledge your kindness with some minimal response. You may think that he or she should offer in return, a sincere thank you.
An act of kindness that is extended with the right intention is a real expression of love. Kindness expressed in this way is connected to no expectations. No strings are attached. Simply we give without wanting anything back. We do not look for the receiver to offer anything in return. A kind thought or gesture is offered without any wish to benefit.
If you have difficulty offering kindness to a particular person or group, here are a few thoughts that I put together to help you.
Remember that this person or group is doing the best they can. They are not deliberately making your life difficult, rather they are just trying to bring love and happiness into their own life. Sometimes, unfortunate the only way we can feel good about who we are is to put blame on someone else. It’s not right, but never the less this type of behavior is not unusual.
Give yourself a long runway. Don’t expect to immediately experience some idea or feeling that just nullifies your automatic response to the thought of another person. You may think of a person and believe that he or she does not deserve kindness. Kindness is an expression of love and everyone deserves to be loved. An airplane requires a runway in order to get off the ground and into the air. You may have issues that are of such magnitude that you just cannot extend kindness to a particular person. Being of that mind frame is not unusual. So instead of overtly offering kindness, do so in thought. Think to yourself: I offer you kindness. Put the image of the person in your mind and say again and again: I give you kindness. Before the kindness concept may be able to fly, you may have to devote some mental effort to getting up to speed. But without the effort made privately, in your mind, the idea is doomed to being grounded.
Spend some time doing the ground work. Before flying, pilots learn fundamental skills and practices from books, in class, and in a simulator. Before taking to the sky they become familiar with the workings of the airplane, and air currents. You can do the same in regards to kindness. Before actually extending an act of kindness to the person with whom you would find difficult doing so, practice first with someone of less difficulty. Offer kindness to people of neutral influence, those with whom you have no history. And do the same with friends and family members with whom you are congenial terms.
Practice safe piloting. When the “difficult” person is in your midst, and the time is right, and after much private practice, extend a small act of kindness. Like a fledgling pilot, take it easy. Don’t make alarming moves or put yourself in a desperate situation. Offer kindness but don’t try to overextend yourself. Don’t force yourself to do something that is beyond your capability. Develop your skills slowly and certainly. After a small act of kindness, make a retreat. There will be another time and another situation in which you can extend yet another similar gesture.
Avoid second-guessing. During this entire process from its inception onward, you may think or act in a way that will make you feel guilty because of your historical unwillingness to be kind. Or you may want to relapse, and fall back to again condemning the person that you are experiencing difficulties with. Avoid thoughts that cast a shadow on your intention to be kind. Think only of kindness. Think only kind thoughts. If you do fall from the horse get right back in the saddle. Your ultimate success is inevitable. Take time, expend the energy, and focus your effort.
Apply the golden rule. Offer the same consideration to others that you like to receive. You are the key. Kindness begins with you. Open your mind to kind thoughts, and then act in a kindly manner. Remain optimistic. You will backslide. When you do, simply change your mind. Catch yourself as you think ill thoughts of another, and replace these wrong-minded thoughts with loving thoughts. The rest will unfold on its own. Know this: God is the love in you, and the love in you cannot be defeated.
- Don ¤¤¤
“If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.” – Bob Hope
“If you meditate, sooner or later you will come upon love. If you meditate deeply, sooner or later you will start feeling a tremendous love arising in you that you have never known before.” - Osho
¤¤¤BE HAPPY!!!!¤¤¤
Friday, April 17, 2009
Avoiding “The Goader Transfer” & The Love Boat Return to Love Cruise
A question about goading was presented to me not long ago. It followed in the wake of an incident in which someone was goaded into feeling guilty. Goading is a technique whereby a target (the one being goaded) is taunted with prickly blurts of either overt or subtle condemnation by the “goader,” in the hopes of raising the target’s level of self-blame and guilt. You have probably experienced it.
Goading is used as a way to belittle another, or reduce his or her level of self-worth. If you see goading with the eye that transcends conventional consciousness, then an alternative subconscious purpose for its use becomes recognizable. From this alternate perspective it is perceived that the goader instigates the goading as a way to protect his or herself from the pain of self-directed anger and/or guilt, and instead redirects it toward the target. I call this type of interaction “The Goader Transfer.” A person who is experiencing welling emotional pain makes a deliberate attempt to transfer it to another. Throughout this essay, I refer to the person using this technique, as a goater.
Some people hone an amazing degree of skill for raising the guilt level in a lover, friend, co-worker or family member. As a measure of protecting a desirable standard of self-acceptability, they develop the cunning to immediately and offhandedly make remarks that project unwarranted blame onto someone else. Something cold or cunning is often communicated in the form of an inference. The message is frequently spoken with a snide tone, and presented in the form of a subtle retaliation for what the goader perceives as an offense to good judgment. The remarks are not only condemning in nature, but are communicated in a pejorative tone.
It’s not unusual for the goader to use goading as the means to indirectly refer to the unacceptable behavior of the goaded one. For example the goader may say in the presence of the target: “What kind of idiot would park a car like this?” Knowing that the target often parks his car in this same manner, the goader is offhandedly but none-the-less intentionally projecting blame on the other. The flow of love is abruptly interrupted by the swift
The Love Boat ~ Return To Love Cruise
Kick back. Enjoy wine and sunshine. Do some shopping. Lay on the beach. Take in a movie.
Quiet your mind with a lazy cruise of the inner-harbor, and Lake Michigan.
And, in addition, how about a jaunt up the river for lunch or dinner.
Brings friends and relax for a week. We will even find time to participate in guided meditation, self-refection and spiritual tranquility programs.
This Chris Craft Catalina yacht can accommodate six overnight guests. It has a lower and upper deck with the space to be alone, sit and chat with a friend, or lie in the sun and work on your tan. It is equipped with bedrooms, kitchen, sitting area, a bathroom, shower, television, stereo and so many other convinces. The upper deck provides a spacious seating area along with an open area for sunbathing. The boat is docked on Lake Michigan in Milwaukee.
Milwaukee is the city of festivals. All summer long a designated area of the harbor is set up for enjoying live entertainment, fun and food. And of course you realize that Milwaukee is the beer capital of the America.
Interjection of negative energy. A father, having seen his daughter dressed in revealing outfits may remark about a
passerby: “That girl dresses like a hooker.” He does so because, with his daughter at his side, he will hopefully raise her level of guilt without overtly condemning her. He uses a third party as a means to goad his daughter for what he perceives to be her abuse of good judgment. Goading, as demonstrated in these examples, is projected for the purpose of offending someone else, but not with the willfulness to do it overtly. It is a subtle yet hurtful way of telling someone else that his or her behavior is judged as unacceptable.
“The Goader Transfer” is often instigated because of a build up of anxiety or frustration. The goader fills with a rising measure of tension and stress, and in the absence of any other way to release it, he projects it under the cover of offhanded criticism, onto the victim. Friends sometimes use this technique to cause one another to feel jealous. Or one might use it frequently with another because the target never seems to respond. Basically, in this case, the goader knows that no remarks of equal bitterness will be returned, so the goading is used for its bullying effect. One or both parties of a romantic couple, while in the company of group, may goad the other. The presence of a group or third person makes it easier and convenient to sling harsh judgmental remarks at the target. The supposed offensive behavior of one person is mentioned in the presence of a group or third party so the messenger can muster the strength required for his or her offensive position. Some goaders feel more secure in making an attack when in the midst of bystanders. They may feel that retaliation will be minimized. Also if the attack backfires, the incident can be conveniently reduced, by the goader, to a laughing point or source of amusement. It can be lightened up with a half-hearted apology or a statement about how the remark was taken too seriously or out of context.
As pointed out, the person being goaded may be of a temperament that makes it easy for the other to transfer his or her inner turmoil with little or no feedback or repercussions. That assumption however infrequently holds true in the long run. The target will often react in a delicate manner. After too often being the mark for belittlement, and burdened too much with another’s illicit transfer of guilt, the goaded one eventually
Cruises are available for the summer season. Please email me if you, or you and your friends would like to get away and have some great fun and return home rested and relaxed. Milwaukee is one hour and fifteen minutes from Chicago. So you can be shopping on Michigan Avenue, or enjoying a relaxing meal in one of the many restaurants. Email me and I’ll get more information to you.
Only a limited number of weeks are available for using the yacht. It’s a fun and restful way to gather your marbles, hang out, and reclaim your inner-peace. Indulge yourself in a vacation style stress cleansing.
Take a break and ZEN-OUT for a week. You’ll come home rested, relaxed, and inspired. If you would like to take a shorter time away, we may be able to accommodate your wish. Just drop me a line. I look forward to sharing this adventure with you. This is your captain speaking.
"When we have inner peace, we can be at peace with those around us." -- 14th Dalai Lama
responds by stopping communication with the other, or communicates through lies, as a means to thwart the hurt and distain that she is intended to absorb. Avoidance is one obvious means that the target uses to separate herself from the goader. The target does so in order to remain resilient to the spears of guilt and condemnation cast by the offender. As offhanded and
subtle as these barbs may be presented, none-the-less they are a source of persistent emotional pain. Sometimes the best way to free oneself from carrying the undue burdens that another puts upon him or her is to minimize or avoid communication and interaction with the other.
Goading is a means for transferring self-directed anger and also a form of manipulation. This technique is actually used as a way to transfer one’s emotional pain to another. It is a way of taking the pain from one’s self-directed judgment and guilt and dumping it on another. It is delivered with the intention of releasing one’s inner torment and anguish. It’s not unlike suffering from an upset stomach and then aiming your vomit at another person.
Goading as I am referring to it, is initialized with the intent to transfer bitterness. It is not to be confused with prodding or cajoling. Goading is not done with the intent to coach, energize, or inspire someone. A goader may claim that he means no harm, when in fact he is deliberately injecting emotional toxin into the life of another. Some people may believe that because of their role in affecting the life of another they have the right to goad. Parents may claim that right over children. A partner in a romantic relationship may too feel that he holds supremacy privileges over the other, and thusly has the right to say to the partner what he pleases. In the goaders mind, he holds the reigns for the purpose of directing the one who is less knowledgeable, less intelligent, less apt, or less experienced.
When encountering a goader, realize that he or she is relying on an all too familiar tool, and using it just as a skilled craftsman would use a specialized instrument. The goader is doings so, so that he or she may reset the self-acceptance meter. When the life of a goater gets out of kilter, then he or she draws on this old familiar skill as a way to temporarily bring the sense of personal self-stability back into balance. And because the effects and repercussions of this skill are enhanced with its increased usage, the goater finds that the target avoids him more and more and more. The target, to maintain sanity and experience the flow of “good” energy, separates herself from
"As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as in being able to remake ourselves."
-- Mohandas Gandhi
the goader and his nasty remarks.
So what happens over the long haul? The separation between the target and the goader increases in proportion to the pain projected by the goader onto the target. Have you encountered a goater? If so here is a remedy to consider.
Realize the goader’s ultimate motive, and then give him what he wants. Recognize that her goading is a quest for love and then give to her the love she is seeking. Tell her that you love her. Tell her that you are not, in the eyes of the world, a perfect person and that you make errors, and will continue to do so. Tell her that her criticism is not helpful to you. Then show her that both the ridicule and the reason for the ridicule are meaningless to you. Show her without giving her remarks any value at all. Don’t get in the game.
Remain self-aware that you are neither guilty nor condemnable. You are as God created you. Jesus as He was being judged said: “I am who I am.” You too are who you are. You are Love. You are God made manifest in the form of a human. Know that for yourself, and know it for the goader. Be aware that the goader does not know what he is doing. He does not realize what you realize, but he is seeking it. He just isn’t there yet. Rather, he is stuck in a mire of self-delusion and is not aware of his true reality. Caution yourself not to climb into the pit of delusion with him.
Keep yourself guarded. If the goader is tempting you back into feelings of guilt or experiencing thoughts of unacceptability, then remain aloof. Avoid subjecting yourself to offhanded ridicule. This person is looking for love, and let him know by your actions and thoughts that you have the knowledge he is seeking. Allow God’s presence to prevail. By thinking loving thoughts you will speak loving words. Always think first, then either respond with loving words, remain silent, or walk away.
Offer kindness. Don’t be afraid. Practice being a loving person. At a point you will be able to walk the talk. The presence of God within you will allow you to be in the presence of the other without feeling like you have done something wrong or that you are lacking something that the other person thinks you should have. At a point you will be assured in the knowledge that you walk as God walks. You will have transcended the verbal harm that is intended for you, and become an example of loving-kindness. As such, you will be unharmed and resilient to the goader’s intentions. Don ¤¤¤
All that we are is the result of what we have thought: it is founded on our thoughts, it is made up of our thoughts. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him . . .
All that we are is the result of what we have thought: it is founded on our thoughts, it is made up of our thoughts. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.
Dhammapada V. 1-2
Never look down upon anyone unless you are helping them up – Rev. Jesse Jackson
“In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33
¤¤¤BE HAPPY¤¤
Self-Empowerment Service
Sundays at 8:00 The Center for Happy Beings holds a Self-Empowerment program entitled Treasures of the Light. Each Sunday a useful topic is brought forth so that we may live out the week with inner-peace and appreciation for all that the universe provides. It is uplifting, casual and inspiring. The location is 31732 South PCH in Laguna. Please join us.
Goading is used as a way to belittle another, or reduce his or her level of self-worth. If you see goading with the eye that transcends conventional consciousness, then an alternative subconscious purpose for its use becomes recognizable. From this alternate perspective it is perceived that the goader instigates the goading as a way to protect his or herself from the pain of self-directed anger and/or guilt, and instead redirects it toward the target. I call this type of interaction “The Goader Transfer.” A person who is experiencing welling emotional pain makes a deliberate attempt to transfer it to another. Throughout this essay, I refer to the person using this technique, as a goater.
Some people hone an amazing degree of skill for raising the guilt level in a lover, friend, co-worker or family member. As a measure of protecting a desirable standard of self-acceptability, they develop the cunning to immediately and offhandedly make remarks that project unwarranted blame onto someone else. Something cold or cunning is often communicated in the form of an inference. The message is frequently spoken with a snide tone, and presented in the form of a subtle retaliation for what the goader perceives as an offense to good judgment. The remarks are not only condemning in nature, but are communicated in a pejorative tone.
It’s not unusual for the goader to use goading as the means to indirectly refer to the unacceptable behavior of the goaded one. For example the goader may say in the presence of the target: “What kind of idiot would park a car like this?” Knowing that the target often parks his car in this same manner, the goader is offhandedly but none-the-less intentionally projecting blame on the other. The flow of love is abruptly interrupted by the swift
The Love Boat ~ Return To Love Cruise
Kick back. Enjoy wine and sunshine. Do some shopping. Lay on the beach. Take in a movie.
Quiet your mind with a lazy cruise of the inner-harbor, and Lake Michigan.
And, in addition, how about a jaunt up the river for lunch or dinner.
Brings friends and relax for a week. We will even find time to participate in guided meditation, self-refection and spiritual tranquility programs.
This Chris Craft Catalina yacht can accommodate six overnight guests. It has a lower and upper deck with the space to be alone, sit and chat with a friend, or lie in the sun and work on your tan. It is equipped with bedrooms, kitchen, sitting area, a bathroom, shower, television, stereo and so many other convinces. The upper deck provides a spacious seating area along with an open area for sunbathing. The boat is docked on Lake Michigan in Milwaukee.
Milwaukee is the city of festivals. All summer long a designated area of the harbor is set up for enjoying live entertainment, fun and food. And of course you realize that Milwaukee is the beer capital of the America.
Interjection of negative energy. A father, having seen his daughter dressed in revealing outfits may remark about a
passerby: “That girl dresses like a hooker.” He does so because, with his daughter at his side, he will hopefully raise her level of guilt without overtly condemning her. He uses a third party as a means to goad his daughter for what he perceives to be her abuse of good judgment. Goading, as demonstrated in these examples, is projected for the purpose of offending someone else, but not with the willfulness to do it overtly. It is a subtle yet hurtful way of telling someone else that his or her behavior is judged as unacceptable.
“The Goader Transfer” is often instigated because of a build up of anxiety or frustration. The goader fills with a rising measure of tension and stress, and in the absence of any other way to release it, he projects it under the cover of offhanded criticism, onto the victim. Friends sometimes use this technique to cause one another to feel jealous. Or one might use it frequently with another because the target never seems to respond. Basically, in this case, the goader knows that no remarks of equal bitterness will be returned, so the goading is used for its bullying effect. One or both parties of a romantic couple, while in the company of group, may goad the other. The presence of a group or third person makes it easier and convenient to sling harsh judgmental remarks at the target. The supposed offensive behavior of one person is mentioned in the presence of a group or third party so the messenger can muster the strength required for his or her offensive position. Some goaders feel more secure in making an attack when in the midst of bystanders. They may feel that retaliation will be minimized. Also if the attack backfires, the incident can be conveniently reduced, by the goader, to a laughing point or source of amusement. It can be lightened up with a half-hearted apology or a statement about how the remark was taken too seriously or out of context.
As pointed out, the person being goaded may be of a temperament that makes it easy for the other to transfer his or her inner turmoil with little or no feedback or repercussions. That assumption however infrequently holds true in the long run. The target will often react in a delicate manner. After too often being the mark for belittlement, and burdened too much with another’s illicit transfer of guilt, the goaded one eventually
Cruises are available for the summer season. Please email me if you, or you and your friends would like to get away and have some great fun and return home rested and relaxed. Milwaukee is one hour and fifteen minutes from Chicago. So you can be shopping on Michigan Avenue, or enjoying a relaxing meal in one of the many restaurants. Email me and I’ll get more information to you.
Only a limited number of weeks are available for using the yacht. It’s a fun and restful way to gather your marbles, hang out, and reclaim your inner-peace. Indulge yourself in a vacation style stress cleansing.
Take a break and ZEN-OUT for a week. You’ll come home rested, relaxed, and inspired. If you would like to take a shorter time away, we may be able to accommodate your wish. Just drop me a line. I look forward to sharing this adventure with you. This is your captain speaking.
"When we have inner peace, we can be at peace with those around us." -- 14th Dalai Lama
responds by stopping communication with the other, or communicates through lies, as a means to thwart the hurt and distain that she is intended to absorb. Avoidance is one obvious means that the target uses to separate herself from the goader. The target does so in order to remain resilient to the spears of guilt and condemnation cast by the offender. As offhanded and
subtle as these barbs may be presented, none-the-less they are a source of persistent emotional pain. Sometimes the best way to free oneself from carrying the undue burdens that another puts upon him or her is to minimize or avoid communication and interaction with the other.
Goading is a means for transferring self-directed anger and also a form of manipulation. This technique is actually used as a way to transfer one’s emotional pain to another. It is a way of taking the pain from one’s self-directed judgment and guilt and dumping it on another. It is delivered with the intention of releasing one’s inner torment and anguish. It’s not unlike suffering from an upset stomach and then aiming your vomit at another person.
Goading as I am referring to it, is initialized with the intent to transfer bitterness. It is not to be confused with prodding or cajoling. Goading is not done with the intent to coach, energize, or inspire someone. A goader may claim that he means no harm, when in fact he is deliberately injecting emotional toxin into the life of another. Some people may believe that because of their role in affecting the life of another they have the right to goad. Parents may claim that right over children. A partner in a romantic relationship may too feel that he holds supremacy privileges over the other, and thusly has the right to say to the partner what he pleases. In the goaders mind, he holds the reigns for the purpose of directing the one who is less knowledgeable, less intelligent, less apt, or less experienced.
When encountering a goader, realize that he or she is relying on an all too familiar tool, and using it just as a skilled craftsman would use a specialized instrument. The goader is doings so, so that he or she may reset the self-acceptance meter. When the life of a goater gets out of kilter, then he or she draws on this old familiar skill as a way to temporarily bring the sense of personal self-stability back into balance. And because the effects and repercussions of this skill are enhanced with its increased usage, the goater finds that the target avoids him more and more and more. The target, to maintain sanity and experience the flow of “good” energy, separates herself from
"As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as in being able to remake ourselves."
-- Mohandas Gandhi
the goader and his nasty remarks.
So what happens over the long haul? The separation between the target and the goader increases in proportion to the pain projected by the goader onto the target. Have you encountered a goater? If so here is a remedy to consider.
Realize the goader’s ultimate motive, and then give him what he wants. Recognize that her goading is a quest for love and then give to her the love she is seeking. Tell her that you love her. Tell her that you are not, in the eyes of the world, a perfect person and that you make errors, and will continue to do so. Tell her that her criticism is not helpful to you. Then show her that both the ridicule and the reason for the ridicule are meaningless to you. Show her without giving her remarks any value at all. Don’t get in the game.
Remain self-aware that you are neither guilty nor condemnable. You are as God created you. Jesus as He was being judged said: “I am who I am.” You too are who you are. You are Love. You are God made manifest in the form of a human. Know that for yourself, and know it for the goader. Be aware that the goader does not know what he is doing. He does not realize what you realize, but he is seeking it. He just isn’t there yet. Rather, he is stuck in a mire of self-delusion and is not aware of his true reality. Caution yourself not to climb into the pit of delusion with him.
Keep yourself guarded. If the goader is tempting you back into feelings of guilt or experiencing thoughts of unacceptability, then remain aloof. Avoid subjecting yourself to offhanded ridicule. This person is looking for love, and let him know by your actions and thoughts that you have the knowledge he is seeking. Allow God’s presence to prevail. By thinking loving thoughts you will speak loving words. Always think first, then either respond with loving words, remain silent, or walk away.
Offer kindness. Don’t be afraid. Practice being a loving person. At a point you will be able to walk the talk. The presence of God within you will allow you to be in the presence of the other without feeling like you have done something wrong or that you are lacking something that the other person thinks you should have. At a point you will be assured in the knowledge that you walk as God walks. You will have transcended the verbal harm that is intended for you, and become an example of loving-kindness. As such, you will be unharmed and resilient to the goader’s intentions. Don ¤¤¤
All that we are is the result of what we have thought: it is founded on our thoughts, it is made up of our thoughts. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him . . .
All that we are is the result of what we have thought: it is founded on our thoughts, it is made up of our thoughts. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.
Dhammapada V. 1-2
Never look down upon anyone unless you are helping them up – Rev. Jesse Jackson
“In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33
¤¤¤BE HAPPY¤¤
Self-Empowerment Service
Sundays at 8:00 The Center for Happy Beings holds a Self-Empowerment program entitled Treasures of the Light. Each Sunday a useful topic is brought forth so that we may live out the week with inner-peace and appreciation for all that the universe provides. It is uplifting, casual and inspiring. The location is 31732 South PCH in Laguna. Please join us.
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