Thursday, March 5, 2009

A Love Letter from Don: 3/5/09

The Cure is a Place Within

Hi everyone. I wish you well. I’ve got something to share.

I’ve been thinking about a few things this week; one of which I will speak of now. That “thing” that I’m referring to is in the form of this question: How does one get beyond his or her own hollow feelings?

We realize that it is difficult to feel happy when the dead weight of a grey looming void is expanding within. This inner emptiness is a disease of the psyche, and is usually accompanied by amongst others, these symptoms: feelings of lethargy (I’m not motivated), thoughts of futility (What I do does not matter anyway), or feelings of depression (I’m so sad, I can’t do anything).

Here are a few addictive medications that we self-administer for the treatment of this disease.

An obsession with work
The desire to socialize
The longing for romance
The use of vices
Sleeping and inaction

A few of the more recognizable names for the inner-emptiness disease are described as one’s inadequacy, loneliness or boredom. When a person feels inadequate, he either smothers his self in thoughts about his inadequacy or he compensates by proving his ability through some activity. Or maybe he first does the prior and then the later. Loneliness affects people in a similar manner. One may feel fidgety, isolated, or abandoned because she does not have someone to share her space, communication, thoughts or feelings with. Boredom is much the same. A person is feeling bored because he or she is not stimulated or is unfulfilled by what he or she is currently experiencing.

So, inner emptiness is demonstrated in one’s own thoughts of personal inadequacies, loneliness or boredom. These thoughts prompt us to overindulge in the habitual reliance on addictive antidotes such as: work, socializing, romantic pursuits, drugs, drinking, sex, watching television and many more. It’s not unusual for a person to manifest their inner-emptiness in some form of addiction. But what is both unusual and seemingly extremely difficult is for a person to acknowledge their dependency on the addictive behavior (medication).

A Zen Thought
If I am holding a cup of water and I ask you, "is the cup empty?" you will say "No, it is full of water." But if I pour out the water and I ask you again, you may say, "yes, it is empty." but, empty of what?... My cup is empty of water, but it is not empty of air. To be empty is to be empty of something.

The things that we love
tell us what we are
-Thomas Aquinas

"When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad. That’s my religion."
- Abraham Lincoln

We have been taught and thusly programmed to conform to the specific expectations of those in our inner-circle.
And, we also search for our individual way of fitting into the world in general. This continual barrage of thoughts causes us to think we are not who we should be. Something is missing. So a large segment of mental energy is devoted to appeasing other people as a way to feel a sense of belonging.

We form the habit of trying to be acceptable in the eyes of others. And that repetitive pursuit becomes so deeply imbedded in the psyche that it creates an internal program that runs continually. The feelings associated with being unacceptable tug at the mind and cause us to believe that we are missing something that we should have. This line of thinking then leads us to believe that something that exists outside the self will provide what is missing or lacking in our lives. When we feel like we are missing something we should have, an inner-void is sensed. This empty feeling causes one to endure a very sad and discomforting experience. When these feelings are fed to the psyche, we become worn out. Little by little, the hope for self-acceptance carves a deep gully into the mind, and we are left to see our lives only as what is remaining in that eroded, hollow gully. We see nothing. We only see emptiness. Through the distorted view caused by this sense of inner emptiness, we experience lethargy, futility, or depression. These are but three of the more common feelings we experience.


Workshop and Rest Retreat

On one weekend in either May or June The Center for Happy Beings will host a two-day Self-Awareness retreat. We will do several workshops in overcoming life burdening obstacles, and in revisiting/redirecting our individual Lifemap.™ The program will consist of class participation, individual life-mapping exercises, guided meditations, short silent meditations, and private reflection time.

If you are interested, please email me and let me know your most desirable weekend, and if you will be needing hotel accommodations.

Join us. It will be relaxing and participants have lots of fun. Participants will experience the joy that accompanies spiritual growth and being with others who are doing the same.

You will learn a new way to deal with issues that bug you, and go home with new ideas on how to reduce stress, and experience calmness and peacefulness in your everyday life. And, you will have a new Lifemap™ in your hands.

How do we put a stop to experiencing these problematic symptoms? How do we find a peaceful, content space within the mind? How do we forego the seemingly involuntary response to a voice that says we are lacking in something that we should have?

In order to answer these questions we must first visit the real unmasked cause of the problem. By doing so, the real source of our self-inadequate, lonely and bored feelings is uncovered. The cause of our inner-emptiness is then exposed.

Lets work it out backwards. Symptoms of a sickness lead to the remedy. The symptoms (Lethargy, futility, depression) are often remedied through self-medication. For example Joe feels lonely. When he’s home, Joe misses having someone to talk with. This lack of having someone to chatter with causes Joe to become “antsy.” So he goes down to the neighborhood bar where he can be with others and take his mind from the emptiness that he experiences when at home. Mary is bored. Her husband and her do not share mutual interests, and communicate only on a superficial level. This causes Mary to feel hollow inside. She becomes depressed, so to suppress her sadness, she spends most of her day buried in work. To keep her mind off her boring marriage, when home, she thinks and speaks mostly of her work duties and prospects. Jean feels lethargic. She has no ambition. Her thoughts are almost always centered on how wrong her romantic life is going. So Jean keeps a lover. She fills the empty space within, with either guilt about her last sexual encounter, or anticipation of the next.

With the persons in all three examples addiction has set in. Joe cannot stop his drinking and socializing. He possesses a compulsive bent toward his barroom pursuits. Mary cannot control her incessant focus on work. She is obsessed with her career obligations. And Jean has become addicted to longing for romance. She is obsessed with thoughts about her romantic affairs.

Each person has elected to treat the symptom of his or her problem. Instead of seeking true spiritual relief for the loneliness, boredom or inadequacy, each one tries to minimize the symptom. But doing so is like trying to treat pain caused by a brain tumor with aspirin.

There is a peaceful place within every mind. It is where love resides. This place in me had once been reduced to a tiny corner. The light that radiated from this speck of a spot was enough to fill my mind. But because I had learned to cover the light with thoughts and behavior that did not include Divine Love, the light could barely shine through the shroud that covered it. It had nowhere to go. The best thing that I possessed, the Light of God’s Love, was reduced to an inert existence.

We get beyond our feelings of inadequacy, loneliness and boredom by understanding that in the dimension of Divine Intelligence inner emptiness is nonexistent. This means that inadequacy, loneliness, and boredom, and all other forms of an inner-void are aberrations. They do not really exist, and appear to do so only because they are given meaning by the deluded mind.

In the spirit realm, only love is present. Only love exists. Knowing this, we can get beyond any concerns that arise, by allowing love to prevail. Understand that in the framework of the big Cosmic, Divine picture, all small and large problems have no meaning. Within the context of this reality you are not lacking in any way. So there is nothing you can do to fill an empty space within. Simply, the emptiness is an illusion.

Since inner-emptiness in any of its forms is an illusion, then both the symptoms of the problem and the medication used to treat it are also illusions. What is not existent cannot manifest itself in the form of a symptom, nor can an antidote treat it. Overworking, over-socializing, over-romancing, and slothfulness will not cure what does not exist. Neither will alcohol, drugs, sex or television addictions.

We can put a stop to stressful, all-consuming behavior by first recognizing that we are not experiencing life through spiritual awareness. We may choose to see our thoughts and behavior differently. We may consciously choose to make a change in the way we think. We can voluntarily shift from human, worldly consciousness to Divine Consciousness. We can voluntarily ask God to take control of our thoughts.

You can do it. You can make the choice to give your thoughts to the Mind that knows only Divine Intelligence. It knows how to lead anyone down the path of peacefulness and contentment.

When we are reacting to stressful feelings, in some way we are responding to self-judgments. We are responding to thoughts that tell us we are not who we should be, something is missing in our lives. Divine Intelligence does not lead us to believe that we are lacking in some way. It does not communicate to us that we must do something or behave in a certain way. Devine Intelligence gives us the knowledge to be cognizant of the illusion that we perceive to be real.

If you make self-judgments, and judgments of others, then here are some ideas you may consider. Become cognizant of who you really are.
Realize that you are a unique expression of God’s love. God manifests himself in countless forms of which you are one. Every moment is available to each of us for making a single choice. We either choose to be as God created us, or we choose not to. We choose to either extend love or choose not to. We either recognize that we are created full and complete, One with Divine Intelligence. Or, we may choose to see that our lives are lacking in some way, and therefore we must make “right” what God did not. Remember God is but one thought away. And we are always one choice away from allowing God into our minds. When we do not choose God, we can choose again. Devine Intelligence is in waiting; we only need to choose it. db ¤
Excerpts from 26 Steps to Self Love
Be Willing. I am willing to do whatever it takes with dignity and pure motives, to help me shine from the inside out.
Let Go. I let go of the expectations of others, along with my doubts, and replace them with what feels true for me.
Follow. I follow my truth every moment, and I follow through in my actions everything that represents my highest and deepest truth.
Wait. I have patience with an ever-unfolding process in my life, and I remember to enjoy the process rather than just live for an outcome.
Experience. I am experiencing all I first decided to, and now I am living completely in the moment, enjoying this journey called my life.


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